Building Relationships Through Music
“Music is the universal language of man[human]kind” -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Living in a town with a university, I have encountered many people who speak English. This has made creating relationships easier for me as I can communicate with those around me. But it is also a crutch, because I am not learning as much Hungarian as I should be. This leaves me at a disadvantage when I meet people who do not know English.
Recently, I find myself in many different situations involving music. I am blessed to find myself in these situations, as shared language is not needed to build relationships through the music. The music, and the emotions it can bring, do all the work for me.
Is This Choir Practice?
Back in November, the church I am serving at had an English speaking worship service. I had the wonderful opportunity to give the sermon. The Friday before, we had you youth group. I went, thinking it would be games and fun like always. (Board games surprisingly work well to build relationships despite a language barrier as well!) That particular Friday was different. There were many people who were not part of the high school group there. There were some university students and adults from the congregation. Next thing I knew, I was handed the music that would be used at the English speaking service.
I was asked if I sang alto or soprano. I shrugged my shoulders awkwardly, grimaced, and tried to explain I have no clue. (The last time is was in a choir was 4th grade. I mostly sound like a dying cat when I sing.) The next two hours had somehow turned into a choir rehearsal. Everyone had their parts and were harmonizing.
When Sunday rolled around, this impromptu choir of wonderful humans were the largest part of the audience for the English speaking service. Some of them are not fluent in English, and admitted they would not be able to follow closely to my sermon. However, that did not matter to me, as I felt loved and supported. They had come to sing and make sure the service went well and it was beautiful.
I’m In A Band?
I recently started volunteering at an after school community center in Szeged. I absolutely adore going there. On Tuesdays, I join in with the music club. This is were my lack of knowledge of the Hungarian language really comes into play. The kids in the club are in high school. The man who runs the club is a social worker in Szeged. Only one of the kids knows English. But this is Hungary, so I do not expect everyone around me to cater to my needs and speak English.
The first day I went, I was asked what instrument I play, or if I sing. Let’s reiderate, I sound like a dying cat when I sing. Through broken Hungarian and a little bit of English, I was able to explain I play kicsit gitár (a little bit of guitar). However, I was not able to properly explain that I only have ever played camp songs on my guitar, and play 5 chords.
The next thing I knew, I was handed an electric guitar plugged into an amp. I promptly panicked at the thought of anyone hearing me play. One of the boys in the group came over to me and start3d showing me chords. He told me the title of the song he was teaching me. He showed me the strumming pattern and let me try by myself.
At this point, the only girl of the group, and the one who knows English, showed up and began talking with me. She told me that the group was playing for the 5th anniversary of the community center. She then taught me the chords for two of the songs they were playing.
By the end of my first day, I was playing along as they practiced their set. Admittedly, I turned my amp down very low so they couldn’t hear all of the mistakes I made.
The next time I joined the group, the leader asked me if I would like to bring a song to play, and they could all join in. I tried to explain I wasn’t comfortable playing lead guitar, and even less so with singing. He looked at me in shock, and exclaimed, “But, you are American? All American girls sing!”
The teenagers continued to help me learn the chords so I could join in with their practices. One of the boys patiently worked with me, teaching me how to play Seven Nation Army, without ever saying a word. Kind smiles when I messed up or didn’t understand were shared as well as smiles of gratitude on my part.
Saturday, the group played for the anniversary and I watched them from the crowd. I was so incredibly proud of the hard work they had put in and how amazing they sounded.
Despite not being able to talk to them, they were able to help me when I need help, give me encouragement when I messed up, and made me feel wanted. I truly love being around this group because they bring so much light into my life. I once again feel I am getting more out of this experience than I am giving, but the truth is these kids smile when I show up to music club, they take time to teach me, and they have shown in so many nonverbal ways that they want me there. I am building relationships with these teens and I am loving it.
Sitting In the Audience
In November, I was invited to two different concerts through the Roma College Program. The first was an orchestra concert and the second was a traditional Hungarian-Roma band.
The orchestra was beautiful, but the traditional Hungarian-Roma band was fun. At the Hungarian-Roma concert, I got to see some of the students I work with outside of our meeting time and place. This helped build our relationships as they saw I care about their culture and want to experience it, as well as it helped to create comfortable conversation at our next class.
The students mentioned they saw me at the concert and then asked me questions about if I enjoyed it and what I thought of it. I thought the music was fun and I enjoyed the dancing some of the band members did and the music was like nothing I had heard before.
Believe it or not, I am actually a fairly shy person until I get to know someone (and then I never stop talking), which can make building relationships, especially with a language barrier, hard. I am afraid of saying the wrong thing or embarrassing myself (which I need to get over and step out of my comfort zone) that I don’t start conversations. But with music, there is no conversation needed. The music is the ice breaker.
“Where words leave off, music speaks” - Hans Christian Andersen
Living in a town with a university, I have encountered many people who speak English. This has made creating relationships easier for me as I can communicate with those around me. But it is also a crutch, because I am not learning as much Hungarian as I should be. This leaves me at a disadvantage when I meet people who do not know English.
Recently, I find myself in many different situations involving music. I am blessed to find myself in these situations, as shared language is not needed to build relationships through the music. The music, and the emotions it can bring, do all the work for me.
Is This Choir Practice?
Back in November, the church I am serving at had an English speaking worship service. I had the wonderful opportunity to give the sermon. The Friday before, we had you youth group. I went, thinking it would be games and fun like always. (Board games surprisingly work well to build relationships despite a language barrier as well!) That particular Friday was different. There were many people who were not part of the high school group there. There were some university students and adults from the congregation. Next thing I knew, I was handed the music that would be used at the English speaking service.
I was asked if I sang alto or soprano. I shrugged my shoulders awkwardly, grimaced, and tried to explain I have no clue. (The last time is was in a choir was 4th grade. I mostly sound like a dying cat when I sing.) The next two hours had somehow turned into a choir rehearsal. Everyone had their parts and were harmonizing.
When Sunday rolled around, this impromptu choir of wonderful humans were the largest part of the audience for the English speaking service. Some of them are not fluent in English, and admitted they would not be able to follow closely to my sermon. However, that did not matter to me, as I felt loved and supported. They had come to sing and make sure the service went well and it was beautiful.
I’m In A Band?
I recently started volunteering at an after school community center in Szeged. I absolutely adore going there. On Tuesdays, I join in with the music club. This is were my lack of knowledge of the Hungarian language really comes into play. The kids in the club are in high school. The man who runs the club is a social worker in Szeged. Only one of the kids knows English. But this is Hungary, so I do not expect everyone around me to cater to my needs and speak English.
The first day I went, I was asked what instrument I play, or if I sing. Let’s reiderate, I sound like a dying cat when I sing. Through broken Hungarian and a little bit of English, I was able to explain I play kicsit gitár (a little bit of guitar). However, I was not able to properly explain that I only have ever played camp songs on my guitar, and play 5 chords.
The next thing I knew, I was handed an electric guitar plugged into an amp. I promptly panicked at the thought of anyone hearing me play. One of the boys in the group came over to me and start3d showing me chords. He told me the title of the song he was teaching me. He showed me the strumming pattern and let me try by myself.
At this point, the only girl of the group, and the one who knows English, showed up and began talking with me. She told me that the group was playing for the 5th anniversary of the community center. She then taught me the chords for two of the songs they were playing.
By the end of my first day, I was playing along as they practiced their set. Admittedly, I turned my amp down very low so they couldn’t hear all of the mistakes I made.
The next time I joined the group, the leader asked me if I would like to bring a song to play, and they could all join in. I tried to explain I wasn’t comfortable playing lead guitar, and even less so with singing. He looked at me in shock, and exclaimed, “But, you are American? All American girls sing!”
The teenagers continued to help me learn the chords so I could join in with their practices. One of the boys patiently worked with me, teaching me how to play Seven Nation Army, without ever saying a word. Kind smiles when I messed up or didn’t understand were shared as well as smiles of gratitude on my part.
Saturday, the group played for the anniversary and I watched them from the crowd. I was so incredibly proud of the hard work they had put in and how amazing they sounded.
Despite not being able to talk to them, they were able to help me when I need help, give me encouragement when I messed up, and made me feel wanted. I truly love being around this group because they bring so much light into my life. I once again feel I am getting more out of this experience than I am giving, but the truth is these kids smile when I show up to music club, they take time to teach me, and they have shown in so many nonverbal ways that they want me there. I am building relationships with these teens and I am loving it.
Sitting In the Audience
In November, I was invited to two different concerts through the Roma College Program. The first was an orchestra concert and the second was a traditional Hungarian-Roma band.
The orchestra was beautiful, but the traditional Hungarian-Roma band was fun. At the Hungarian-Roma concert, I got to see some of the students I work with outside of our meeting time and place. This helped build our relationships as they saw I care about their culture and want to experience it, as well as it helped to create comfortable conversation at our next class.
The students mentioned they saw me at the concert and then asked me questions about if I enjoyed it and what I thought of it. I thought the music was fun and I enjoyed the dancing some of the band members did and the music was like nothing I had heard before.
Believe it or not, I am actually a fairly shy person until I get to know someone (and then I never stop talking), which can make building relationships, especially with a language barrier, hard. I am afraid of saying the wrong thing or embarrassing myself (which I need to get over and step out of my comfort zone) that I don’t start conversations. But with music, there is no conversation needed. The music is the ice breaker.
“Where words leave off, music speaks” - Hans Christian Andersen
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